This week’s update:
Actually I’m not that dreadful at it. I can almost manage to play all my scale without screechy noises, and I can do the Kerry polka without mistakes if I play it really slow.Though I’m still far from playing in front of millions of fans,I’m still quite pleased with my achievement.I’m hoping I’ll be good enough to attend a workshop at the Frankie Kennedy Christmas school this winter.That would be grand.
Kinda depressed actually.A bit excited.Confused.Don’t know.
I mean, I’m excited about starting music lessons in Dublin and driving lessons, and being able to go out and drink Guiness till my legs wobble under me and I lose control of my arms and then I have to be thrown out of the pub because I keep spilling my drinks on other people. (I’m actually joking, it never happened, or maybe that one teeny weeny time when I was about sixteen but it doesn’t count, does it ? You’re drunk after one drink at sixteen so it’s not like I was a binge drinker or anything.)
But I’m going to miss the little head poking in my bedroom on my day off, “Hellooooooo!Color with me! Come sitting room!”.And I’m also going to miss singing and dancing around the kitchen with the children who can’t stop laughing and telling me I’m a silly billy( I’ll probably still play Altan and dance around singing made up Irish words on my own but you know, it’s not the same without the little monkeydoos.)And I’m definitely going to miss watching Dora the Explorer and talking with the telly, and dancing like a big idiot, singing stuff in Spanish.
Now is like the winter sun, its light flickers, flimsy;it is not strong enough to warm up the air around me.
When will spring come,bringing renewal with it,when will warmth pierce through ?
Done a bit more packing and cleaned under the bed.Half of my stuff was under the bed actually,so I’m glad I had the idea to look at it now and not left it to the day before I leave at three o’clock in the morning (which is what I usually would do).It took me ages to take everything out.
Still have loads of stuff to sort out,though.Will see what happens.
Have made a words count this afternoon, and have almost written 21000 words, not counting the spaces, and not counting the handwritten drafts, so I’m pretty rapt with that.I have managed to write the timeline for the first three chapter.Writer’s block is gone!I think it was all due to stress because of the big move.
At night I can’t really sleep.I think and think and summon up memories from that eventful past year.
The time when we went for a walk in the country and we met these cows and the three of us spoke cow to them”MOOOOO!”.
And in the boat in West Cork, little Fairy and I holding on to each other in fright!
And I could still feel the cool little hands grabbing face between them “And I missed you when you were in Dublin”.I smiled to myself in the dark. “I’ll miss you too” I said.