One fateful day, I opened my email box and there was this fateful message in it “subject:Hey,this is your friend Jane Doe,come and check my facebook profile”
I clicked on the link to Jane Doe’s profile,and because I was bored,I joined and created my own profile as well. From there,I caught the “Facebook virus”.
People who have the facebook virus can spend hours doing feckin nothing useful.In the worst cases,they just click around all day, not talking to any actual people,just leaving them notes on facebook;They spend hours trying to get the highest score in facebook games and trying to get people they don’t even know to become their friends so that they can display on their profile that they have more friends than their other friends.
It starts innocently.You type in the name of people youknow at least a bit, to see if they are on facebook as well, send them friend requests and hopefully they will accept.You look at your list of friends,exclaim,oh, great, I have twelve friends!(that’s more that you actually have in real life;half of your facebook friends actually don’t give a shake about you when it comes down to it)
Then you click on your friend Mary Kate Holden’s profile to check if she has as many as you (convinced she hasn’t)and:Horror! Mary Kate Holden has 836538296354 friends and 9467504635 of them have added her as a “Top Friend” a special privilege that means that no,contrary to you,she isn’t a no-life who uses facebook to pretend she has heaps of friends.Her facebook friends actually like her.
From here,a tough competition starts.
You start showering your friends mailboxes with invitation emails,hoping that they will join and that will be one more friend for you.You search the name of hundreds of people hoping they will have a profile, including the names of the kid who bullied you at preschool and the brother of the friend of a friend,and the guy you met once at the pub and to whom you gave your phone number because you were sssooooo pissed.You actually never answered one of his calls afterwards but on facebook,that counts as being friends.
There is the applications as well;every day,you receive invitation to take bizarre tests “Which pizza topping are you?” cheap psychological analysis “Are you more like barbie malibu or barbie disco?” and after laughing out loud and wondering what sort of eejit creates those tests and what sort of eejit takes them, you feel a tingle of curiosity.You want to know Mary Kate Holden’s results,and to read it, you have to take the test yourself,so you end up doing it.Seriously.
Anyway,there should be a “Facebook Anonymous” soon. Lots of people need it.
Anyway, stick around folks!
(And to my facebook friends who would happen to wander on my blog: I was exagerating a little bit, eh! 😆 I hope you realised it!)